My journey as a mum of a dyslexic child.
Friday 21 July 2023
Lucas was diagnosed with dyslexia after years of uncertainty. Is my child just not interested, am I failing as a mum, is he just not academic?
These are feelings I think we all feel as a parent of a child with dyslexia. However, I knew it was something more. Lucas struggled to process information, learning routines, rhymes. Reading, phonics was just so hard and frustrating.
Lucas was having extra support at school; our local authority would not fund a dyslexia diagnostic assessment so paying private was the only option. Dyslexia I feel is a disability that is discriminated against, its not classed quite “bad enough” to warrant funding. As a parent I feel we live in a society which is very much an all or nothing approach to support. Dyslexia an invisible disability, your child looks fine right? How very wrong.
Lucas is 10 years old and under the unachievable pressure of tests to define him and his future. If he fails exams in the future this limit what he can do. You must have this qualification, this score to be able to do this course or this apprenticeship. “But I just can’t express myself mum in an exam” overwhelmed by too much information and lack of processing time. Yet this will define my child’s future opportunities.
The absolute worst part of having a child with dyslexia is seeing the emotional upset and worry it causes your child. “Why am I stupid”, “why do I have to be like this”. That awful feeling in the pit of your stomach trying to make your child feel better. I want to protect Lucas, “it’s just a piece of paper, you are a brilliant clever boy.” Lucas will smile but I know he still goes to school worrying.
The battle for support, EHCP how many of us are told, you will not get that for dyslexia. Sadly, this seems to be the case. Dyslexia is not severe enough, how little these assessors know. Yet these decisions can change my son’s life in so many ways.
I think the biggest thing for me, is that awful worried feeling that my child will be unhappy due to expectations and academic pressures. Support for Dyslexia is lacking and the impact on not only the child but family I feel is unrecognised.
Dyslexia is a registered disability, a lifelong disability and needs more focus and support. As parents we must just keep trying to support our children and each other.
To Lucas...
You are the most wonderful, brave, loved, kind and talented boy, let that be your definition nothing else!